Salutations and good day to you fine, handsome Jacket fans. I come to you on this beautiful, picturesque fall day with a request. My fellow chaps and I were sharing a few bottles of chardonnay during a Sex in the City marathon on Lifetime when Bruce mentioned your confounding offensive strategies. While the thought of hiding the ball amongst the various lads on the field brought much amusement to my merry band, and resulted in a vigorous bout of sabre rattling, we have a request to make of you engineers. You see, all the men at UVA enjoy nothing more than seeing strapping, young lads engage in wrestling and scrums. And we fear that our boys will not be able to tackle men like Jonathon Dwyer or Josh Nesbitt. Their strong, masculine bodies and ox-like strength are simply too much for a Virginia man to handle. In more way than one, I must, reluctantly, admit. And ever since that accursed day when we learned that our beloved Zima was no more, we've been in quite a dreadful melancholy. And as such, we respectfully request that you abandon this efficient and frightful beast of an offense for something that we lads can really get into. If you could be a jolly sport in this, we'd be much obliged. Good day.