Techbert
Dodd-Like
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2002
- Messages
- 24,746
Two men had gems of great price.
One set it in a ring and shared it with his friends. All marveled at the treasure and enjoyed its luster.
The second man cast the gem in the mud, and bemoaned his dark poverty.
Let him who has a working monitor read.
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A third man shared his gem with all, including sanitation engineers and Clemson fans. One was the product of a chance meeting between a camp follower of circus clowns and a 800-pound man who had chemically fused to the fibers of the couch he had lain on for the last 8 years. This Clemson fan had a bigger overbite than most, which distracted attention from his crossed eyes, warted brow, unsightly nose hair, and his half ear torn away during rough play in the Clemson's players sauna. He made his living providing skin tissue to dermatologists studying acne, while moonlighting by scraping caves clean of bat guano. When he gathered enough money together he would rent pigs. While attending Clemson, he learned his colors and even got a C+ in "Two Letter Words Beginning With 'I'." His mullet is the pride of his trailer park, and he would celebrate Clemson Game Day by surrounding his 1964 Plymouth Valiant (orange, of course) with dozens of orange construction cones, lying on the non-rusted-out sections of the hood, and smearing his mostly-naked body with tuna soaked in honey, orange food coloring, and catnip, and calling the neighborhood felines with his ritual, "Fight tigers, fight tigers, fight, fight, fight!" When shown the gem of great price, he pushed it aside because he had to make sure his Betamax would record that day's Springer.
One set it in a ring and shared it with his friends. All marveled at the treasure and enjoyed its luster.
The second man cast the gem in the mud, and bemoaned his dark poverty.
Let him who has a working monitor read.
***********************************************************
A third man shared his gem with all, including sanitation engineers and Clemson fans. One was the product of a chance meeting between a camp follower of circus clowns and a 800-pound man who had chemically fused to the fibers of the couch he had lain on for the last 8 years. This Clemson fan had a bigger overbite than most, which distracted attention from his crossed eyes, warted brow, unsightly nose hair, and his half ear torn away during rough play in the Clemson's players sauna. He made his living providing skin tissue to dermatologists studying acne, while moonlighting by scraping caves clean of bat guano. When he gathered enough money together he would rent pigs. While attending Clemson, he learned his colors and even got a C+ in "Two Letter Words Beginning With 'I'." His mullet is the pride of his trailer park, and he would celebrate Clemson Game Day by surrounding his 1964 Plymouth Valiant (orange, of course) with dozens of orange construction cones, lying on the non-rusted-out sections of the hood, and smearing his mostly-naked body with tuna soaked in honey, orange food coloring, and catnip, and calling the neighborhood felines with his ritual, "Fight tigers, fight tigers, fight, fight, fight!" When shown the gem of great price, he pushed it aside because he had to make sure his Betamax would record that day's Springer.