Best things about Duke football

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Never stuck in traffic after a game

 

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Plenty of leg room

 

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Lots of extra time to study during bowl season

 

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Bookstore clearance table filled with football swag

 

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You finally understand all those Jewish princess jokes

 

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No money down

 

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Access to Lacrosse parties

 

[GTCrew4b]

That Peach Bowl loss.

 

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If you wash your blue jersey enough times, it will fade into a semi-respectable football color

 

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Occasionally mistaken for a Wake football player

 

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You get to be the ‘black friend’ rich, white people talk about having after they say something racist.

 

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Cafeteria unlikely to have food that is too spicy

 

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Access to everything Durham has to offer, which is mostly burned out buildings and a taco bell.

 

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You really enjoy that dolphin like laughter girls from the northeast have

 

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Access to monkey pox both inside and outside the school of medicine

 

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Unlimited Febreze to get rid of the old man smell Cutcliff left behind

 

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Never having to deal with fans who just want to talk your ear off about Duke football

 

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Never being distracted by annoying stadium noise at Wallace Wade stadium.

 

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Sometimes get autographs of basketball players at the games.

 

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Visiting team gets to enjoy halftime outside in the fresh air.