BarrelORum
Mediocre Poster
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2002
- Messages
- 16,274
I applied for our OC job. Just so you guys are aware. Do you think I have a shot? I emailed this a few weeks back.
Dear Dan,
I wanted to take a moment and Thank you for your efforts with making Georgia Tech athletics a cut above the rest. When you were hired, I was so happy to see my alma mater select someone with the obvious skills in leading Georgia Tech Athletics into a successful future. I was highly critical of our previous athletic director as I felt he made no connection with our fan base and failed to ever market GT correctly. I can already tell in less than a year that you really understand what it takes to succeed from your column "The Good Word" which is an excellent extension of acknowledgement to the GT fan base.
With that, I am always thinking of ways that GT can improve upon its present staff and make the GTAA one of the superior athletic departments in the country. Please allow me to offer my resume...
I am 34 years old and a Partner in a Construction Business. I played 6th, 7th and 8th grade football. Although my position was fullback and defensive end, our coach often listened to me when thinking of which play to call. "Give me the ball" was something that I suggested OFTEN and he obliged. Between the years of 1985-1991 I became highly skilled in the game considered "The Father of all Football Games".... Tecmo Bowl. Twenty Five Times I took the Oakland Raiders or Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl against live competition. Not that computer simulated crap. My crowning achievement was when I played Travis Best (Ex-Tech basketball player) on our dorm our freshman year. Even with the 1985 Bears and Walter Payton, Travis could not beat me. I went Bo Jackson on him left, right and left again, one time running all the way down to the 1 yard line only to turn around run back to my own 1 yard line, turn around and run 100 yards again for the final score. I won a Old English 800 for my efforts, but please don't tell anyone that we were drinking on dorm. I would not want to incriminate an ex-athlete.
But that is not all. I also played High School football for a team that started the longest winning streak in VA HS football history. I led my JV team for two years in interceptions, and played Varsity for two as well. Even though I only started my senior year, the coaches said I was a "heady player". They could tell even then that I understood the game of football well beyond my years. I was like a player/coach in the Pete Rose mold. If a team stacked the box, I'd tell coach to throw it deep. If they played cover two/man I would tell him to run the draw. Coach always said I would make a fine Offensive Coordinator.
But back to it, let me give you a little background on me. I was the first person on my dorm to ever own EA sports first version of "Madden Football". I once totaled 800 yards of offense against a buddy of mine and we were only playing 5 minute quarters. When EA sports came out with their first version of College Football Gameday... YOU GUESSED IT, I was the first person in line. No one could take me. I proved without a doubt that GT's 1990 team with a white version of Sean Jones was the finest College football team EVER assembled as I destroyed 1988's Notre Dame team, 1980 UGA's National Championship team, 1987 Miami Hurricane's team, and 1981's Clemson team. My fraternity once pitted me against the Sigma Nu's best player and I destroyed him with Floridas passing attack and Danny Wuerfel. 550 yards passing. And again... 5 minute quarters, not the standard 15. I could put up record numbers, in one third the time.
As the years have gone by my skills on EA's Madden and College Gameday have progressed as well. When I replayed the 2005 National Championship game using USC, I held Vince Young's Texas team to 14 points, and scored a total of 70 points, racking up over 600 yards of offense. All of that from the seat of my couch at home. Pretty impressive. My skills of tearing apart a defense are second to none.
So with that, I offer you my services as Georgia Tech's NEXT Offensive Coordinator. I promise that with a good QB coach, we will not put an athlete in a situation that asks more than what his skills can offer. Low percentage deep passes to the outsides of the field you ask? Not from me. I may be a river boat gambler from time to time, but even Im not so crazy to run a reverse on 3rd and 1 when you have one of the best 6-1 250 lb Fullback's in the nation on the bench who has not received a handoff all year.
When the game is close, lets say 6-6 and we're in a slug fest on a wet field in a Huge game, you will not see me ask my quarterback who has 5 times as many INT's as TD's in his last two games throw the ball deep when his completion percentage is a steady 30%. I will use my ALL-ACC Runningback in that situation and maybe give him a carry or two in the 4th quarter to be my workhorse, since he has already chewed the defense up for over 100 yards. I solemnly swear to you and every GT fan, I WILL STICK TO WHAT IS WORKING! You will not see me use the "Every now and again a blind squirrel finds a nut" offense by heaving the football 50 yards downfield upteenth times until it works. I can make my all World Wide Receiver look great by actually throwing balls that hit him in stride on high percentage passes. Anything else and that is not wiining football and my Madden skills have taught me that.
On top of that, I promise you I will have a QB on the bench available just in case the one on the field cannot perform. But I do ask for a qualified QB coach to help me develop these young minds. We both know QB's can be headcases. Look at Jim McMahon for instance. He has one good year and the next thing you know he's singing the Super Bowl shuffle and dancing with oversized shades. I will not allow my Team Captain and apparent leader of the team let things go to his head by not making the grades. He will know that sub 50% passing efforts are nothing to be proud of.
I am adept at utlizing the short routes and dipsy do the defense for small chunks of yardage instead of going for the bomb on 1st down and ten effectively ending your chances to open up the playbook in 2nd and short situations. More importantly, I promise you, that my Madden and Game Day skills have ensured that when my defense can hold the oposition for 7 and 9 points respectively, that I do have enough offensive genius to put up more points than that.
Dan, as I said, you have a very tough job and I do not envy you. I do highly respect you as I can see the improvement and the foundation you are laying for the future of Georgia Tech athletics. Seriously. Kidding aside for a minute, you are a wonderful leader. That said, all I ask for is a chance to improve the current coaching staff. I'm not saying go out and spend all kinds of money on guys named Norm Chow. That is not needed. Truly all that is needed for improvement of this team is someone that has over 80 hours of Playstation Experience on either Madden or College GameDay. I seriously believe you will see a positive difference.
Again, Thank you and if my resume interests you, please email me back. I don't know what an Offensive Coordinator Makes, but I'm sure I come at a bargain comparably. More importantly though, I understand calling an offensive game plan and my skills at Madden back that up.
Sincerely
p.s. This email was meant for your amusement, but I hope I got my point across.
Dear Dan,
I wanted to take a moment and Thank you for your efforts with making Georgia Tech athletics a cut above the rest. When you were hired, I was so happy to see my alma mater select someone with the obvious skills in leading Georgia Tech Athletics into a successful future. I was highly critical of our previous athletic director as I felt he made no connection with our fan base and failed to ever market GT correctly. I can already tell in less than a year that you really understand what it takes to succeed from your column "The Good Word" which is an excellent extension of acknowledgement to the GT fan base.
With that, I am always thinking of ways that GT can improve upon its present staff and make the GTAA one of the superior athletic departments in the country. Please allow me to offer my resume...
I am 34 years old and a Partner in a Construction Business. I played 6th, 7th and 8th grade football. Although my position was fullback and defensive end, our coach often listened to me when thinking of which play to call. "Give me the ball" was something that I suggested OFTEN and he obliged. Between the years of 1985-1991 I became highly skilled in the game considered "The Father of all Football Games".... Tecmo Bowl. Twenty Five Times I took the Oakland Raiders or Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl against live competition. Not that computer simulated crap. My crowning achievement was when I played Travis Best (Ex-Tech basketball player) on our dorm our freshman year. Even with the 1985 Bears and Walter Payton, Travis could not beat me. I went Bo Jackson on him left, right and left again, one time running all the way down to the 1 yard line only to turn around run back to my own 1 yard line, turn around and run 100 yards again for the final score. I won a Old English 800 for my efforts, but please don't tell anyone that we were drinking on dorm. I would not want to incriminate an ex-athlete.
But that is not all. I also played High School football for a team that started the longest winning streak in VA HS football history. I led my JV team for two years in interceptions, and played Varsity for two as well. Even though I only started my senior year, the coaches said I was a "heady player". They could tell even then that I understood the game of football well beyond my years. I was like a player/coach in the Pete Rose mold. If a team stacked the box, I'd tell coach to throw it deep. If they played cover two/man I would tell him to run the draw. Coach always said I would make a fine Offensive Coordinator.
But back to it, let me give you a little background on me. I was the first person on my dorm to ever own EA sports first version of "Madden Football". I once totaled 800 yards of offense against a buddy of mine and we were only playing 5 minute quarters. When EA sports came out with their first version of College Football Gameday... YOU GUESSED IT, I was the first person in line. No one could take me. I proved without a doubt that GT's 1990 team with a white version of Sean Jones was the finest College football team EVER assembled as I destroyed 1988's Notre Dame team, 1980 UGA's National Championship team, 1987 Miami Hurricane's team, and 1981's Clemson team. My fraternity once pitted me against the Sigma Nu's best player and I destroyed him with Floridas passing attack and Danny Wuerfel. 550 yards passing. And again... 5 minute quarters, not the standard 15. I could put up record numbers, in one third the time.
As the years have gone by my skills on EA's Madden and College Gameday have progressed as well. When I replayed the 2005 National Championship game using USC, I held Vince Young's Texas team to 14 points, and scored a total of 70 points, racking up over 600 yards of offense. All of that from the seat of my couch at home. Pretty impressive. My skills of tearing apart a defense are second to none.
So with that, I offer you my services as Georgia Tech's NEXT Offensive Coordinator. I promise that with a good QB coach, we will not put an athlete in a situation that asks more than what his skills can offer. Low percentage deep passes to the outsides of the field you ask? Not from me. I may be a river boat gambler from time to time, but even Im not so crazy to run a reverse on 3rd and 1 when you have one of the best 6-1 250 lb Fullback's in the nation on the bench who has not received a handoff all year.
When the game is close, lets say 6-6 and we're in a slug fest on a wet field in a Huge game, you will not see me ask my quarterback who has 5 times as many INT's as TD's in his last two games throw the ball deep when his completion percentage is a steady 30%. I will use my ALL-ACC Runningback in that situation and maybe give him a carry or two in the 4th quarter to be my workhorse, since he has already chewed the defense up for over 100 yards. I solemnly swear to you and every GT fan, I WILL STICK TO WHAT IS WORKING! You will not see me use the "Every now and again a blind squirrel finds a nut" offense by heaving the football 50 yards downfield upteenth times until it works. I can make my all World Wide Receiver look great by actually throwing balls that hit him in stride on high percentage passes. Anything else and that is not wiining football and my Madden skills have taught me that.
On top of that, I promise you I will have a QB on the bench available just in case the one on the field cannot perform. But I do ask for a qualified QB coach to help me develop these young minds. We both know QB's can be headcases. Look at Jim McMahon for instance. He has one good year and the next thing you know he's singing the Super Bowl shuffle and dancing with oversized shades. I will not allow my Team Captain and apparent leader of the team let things go to his head by not making the grades. He will know that sub 50% passing efforts are nothing to be proud of.
I am adept at utlizing the short routes and dipsy do the defense for small chunks of yardage instead of going for the bomb on 1st down and ten effectively ending your chances to open up the playbook in 2nd and short situations. More importantly, I promise you, that my Madden and Game Day skills have ensured that when my defense can hold the oposition for 7 and 9 points respectively, that I do have enough offensive genius to put up more points than that.
Dan, as I said, you have a very tough job and I do not envy you. I do highly respect you as I can see the improvement and the foundation you are laying for the future of Georgia Tech athletics. Seriously. Kidding aside for a minute, you are a wonderful leader. That said, all I ask for is a chance to improve the current coaching staff. I'm not saying go out and spend all kinds of money on guys named Norm Chow. That is not needed. Truly all that is needed for improvement of this team is someone that has over 80 hours of Playstation Experience on either Madden or College GameDay. I seriously believe you will see a positive difference.
Again, Thank you and if my resume interests you, please email me back. I don't know what an Offensive Coordinator Makes, but I'm sure I come at a bargain comparably. More importantly though, I understand calling an offensive game plan and my skills at Madden back that up.
Sincerely
p.s. This email was meant for your amusement, but I hope I got my point across.
