B is for BEEEEEEEES. Just three yards and a cloud of dust. Geico football -- so easy a caveman can do it. Will never work. Too simple. Too predictable. A blast from the past soon to return with a whimper. Cromag football not fit for this century.
The preceding statements? All grossly incorrect assessments of the beguiling flexbone of Paul Johnson. Georgia Tech completed one pass Saturday, allowed 42 points and a career day to Matt Stafford, and still took their missing link offense into Athens and walked out with snippets of the hedges in a 45-42 victory over Georgia. 409 yards rushing, 38 points of scoring offense, and a snapped losing streak to Georgia means Tech will happily get their caveman on any time you care to mock their punishing shell game of an offense.
They'll also have the roast duck and mango salsa. Please send the bill to Willie Martinez at table four, please.
<caveman video>
D is for Decimated. The act of disciplining a Roman military unit by killing every tenth man. Any number of units suffered this fate, apparently playing one side of the ball with ten men (or at least appearing to.) Notre Dame's offense, which gained their first first down at the end of the third quarter against USC;
Georgia's defense, whose safeties appeared to be playing with eyepatches; or Oregon State's entire defense, which prepared for the Oregon game by coating their arms with generous helpings of slick, buttery cooking spray. (More on that ghastly effort later.)
Not Tech but this is hilarious -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQbX...ege_football,_week_14&feature=player_embedded
S is for Sympathy for the Devil. Mark May was ... um ... right about Lane Kiffin? Was I actually agreeing with Lance Smarmstrong when he said he didn't like Tennessee's hire? Did I drink out of a stagnant cattle pond earlier? Am I hallucinating? Do I need medical attention? Or is Mark May just saying something I agree with? Please advise, as I, too, think talking about "what a great staff" someone will hire is a bad, bad sign? (To wit: name one of
Paul Johnson's assistants. Who? Thank you.)
U is for Unsexy. As in Virginia Tech, ACC championship-bound despite lacking a quarterback or functional offense for two years running. They will face Boston College, a team that cobbled together a division champion out of baling wire, toothpicks, some old duct tape, and the constant tinkering of coach Jeff Jagodzinski. That guy's
a freaking genius.
V is for Vainglorious. Charlie Weis, 2007:
"They're going to have to learn about us, OK? Let them try to stop a pro-style offense, which has multiple personnel groups and multiple formations. Let's see how they are going to do. They've had their advantage because I've come into recruiting late. Well, now it's X's and O's time. Let's see who has the advantage now."
Answers: Pete Carroll,
Paul Johnson, and Greg Robinson.
