LegendaryGT
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- Joined
- Oct 18, 2009
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Week 2 in college football sees the sport making up for all of the meaningless games it didn't play in order to give you an entertaining week 1. As it seems like most teams will be playing way, way down this week, and there's almost nothing on the marquee level, it has kept a slim scheduling profile, reserving almost everything for Saturday. Sorta seems like it'd rather you just ignored what's going on, but no. This is America, the land of the upsale, the multi-site price comparison, and extreme couponing. We've all dug into that bargain movie bin at Wal Mart because you could get an incredible 5 movies for the price of one, and bought the Publix brand canned soup, even though we didn't want soup, just because it was half price. We're not gonna let the low quality of a product stop us from satisfying our consumer urges, if the price is right.
This week in foobaw IT'S THE OVERSTOCK GAME LIQUIDATION SALE, GAMES UP TO 99% OFF! IF WE KEEP THESE GAMES PAST THE END OF THE WEEK, WE HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON THEM, SO EVERYTHING! MUST! GO!
Thursday, September 6
7:00 PM - Kennesaw State at Tennessee Tech. Yes, it's a game between FCS schools. Kennesaw State runs the option and is otherwise pretty entertaining, and Tennessee Tech is somebody against whom the option can be run. And it's the only thing on, so there's that.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Watch this game on ESPNU at NO ADDITIONAL COST. (Limit 1 per family.)
Friday, September 7
8:00 PM - #16 TCU at SMU. SMU just finished losing to the North Texas Mean Green by 3 TDs, so this will probably be pretty one sided. Still, it's the only thing on, once again.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy 1 TCU touchdown, get 2 FREE! (Deal expires in the middle of the third quarter.)
Saturday, September 8
12:00 PM - #18 Mississippi State at Kansas State. Miss State threw down buckets of points on something called SFA in Moorhead's debut. We knew he was an offensive genius, but honestly that doesn't really tell us anything. Kansas State needed a gutsy come from behind surge to survive FCS South Dakota in a narrow 27-24 win, but South Dakota is also becoming one of those weird FBS killers, and that was a trap game, and week 1 rust, etc. We basically know nothing going into this except MSST is favored to win with about an 80% chance according to ESPN FPI. That, and Bill Snyder is still on the KSU sideline, and he was playing everyone to a three point margin and defying ESPN FPI about 50 years before either of these things was invented.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Pay no taxes on JUCO transfers! (Valid at participating schools in the state of Kansas, only.)
12:00 PM - Arizona at Houston. Arizona, you both hired and then fired Rich Rodriguez, and now you must endure his fatal curse. If it can destroy the University of Michigan, what hope do you have? After a really embarrassing loss to BYU, Kevin Sumlin's squad is a coin flip against Houston, per ESPN FPI. I'd buy that for a dollar.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy one Houston touchdown, get one deluxe Arizona schadenfreude of equal or lesser value! (Credit approval required.)
12:00 PM - Duke at Northwestern. Northwestern defeated the Duke of the B1G, but can it handle the Purdue of the ACC?
THIS WEEK ONLY: Push, pull, or drag it in, we'll take any conference pride, no matter how damaged, in trade for 10% off the mental and emotional cost of watching this game! (Additional offers may not be combined.)
12:00 PM - Georgia Tech at South Florida. Georgia Tech reaches down into the bargain bin this week and pulls out a real gem. "Won 10 games!" it says right there on the cover, but when you open it up, it's full of D-list teams. If you look on the back there's a "Played close against UCF" endorsement. No mention of the fact that this isn't the version with Quinton Flowers. But hey, they have somebody else's recycled QB! Tune in to watch the Jackets throw this crap back into the trash.
THIS WEEK ONLY: 50% off all notepads and pencils storewide. It's a back to school sale. (While supplies last.)
1:00 PM - UCLA at #5 Oklahoma. Game 2 of the Chip Kelly era begins, and this is no cupcake game against the Cincinnati Bearcats. Although I'm sure Chip Kelly has thought of everything.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Complimentary bruin tears with any qualifying purchase at all game viewing locations! (This offer is not valid towards previous purchases.)
2:00 PM - Air Force at Florida Atlantic. It's time for Lane Kiffin University to get back to doing what it does best, which is play impressive games against teams on its level. Air Force is on its level, and is pretty good for such a team, so this could turn into a fun competitive game.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Show your military ID and receive a 10% discount on savage tweets. (It is a violation of federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.)
3:30 PM - Colorado at Nebraska. The Scott Frost era begins for the Cornhuskers. Will he restore them to their former glory? Colorado has been fielding decent teams recently, so they should provide a good indicator of what's to come.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Enjoy the premier ABC game in the 3:30 time slot for the price of something that would've been on ESPNews last week! (This offer has no cash value.)
3:30 PM - Memphis at Navy. Two frequently good G5 teams square off in a time slot that isn't going to have much in it. What's not to like?
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy the generic version of your perscription football games online and save up to 90%! (Seller not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform.)
3:30 PM - North Carolina at East Carolina. North Carolina declined to play football for three quarters against CAL. East Carolina lost to North Carolina A&T. This is one of those games that could be so bad, it's good.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Two North Carolina FBS teams, 99% off! (Sold as-is, for repair parts only. No returns, refunds, or exchanges.)
5:00 PM - Iowa State at Iowa. EL ASSICO. This game has a reputation for being comically bad, and one of these two teams is usually bad as a result of it (although often that is the winning team). This will just be starting around half time of the 3:30 slot, and so if all of those games are out of hand, maybe, just maybe this will tide you over until the 7 slot. Iowa is somehow the solid favorite.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy 10 commercials, get the 11th at 10% off! (Offer not valid for commercials over 15 seconds in length.)
7:00 PM - #2 Clemson at Texas A&M. The ole Dabo vs Jimbo show, just without all of the division implications. One would expect this to end about the same way as most of those have recently.
THIS WEEK ONLY: ACC/SEC showdown between two national championship coaches, half price! (Manufacturer refurbished, no warranty included.)
7:00 PM - Wyoming at Missouri. Wyoming won't win this one, they just don't have the offense or the depth to do it. But for three quarters, they are going to give us a good show on defense. Last Week, Washington State erupted for 21 points in the 4th quarter to win 41-19, but Wyoming actually led in the 4th quarter and kept it very close all of the third. Even with the gaudy final score, Wazzu didn't crack 400 total yards. This Wyoming defense is for real.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Rare punts at discount prices, wide selection, everything 25% off! (This product is meant for educational purposes only.)
7:30 PM - Virginia at Indiana. 27 ACC caliber players travel to the midwest to take on an upstart team that put a couple of interesting performances last year against top competition. Last year, UVA lost this one 34-17. I'm not entirely sure why this year would be different.
THIS WEEK ONLY: This game is 100% free. Please take it, no questions asked, nobody wants it. (Buyer must pay shipping.)
7:30 PM - Kentucky at Florida. This game is going to be on the watch list every year for the rest of time until Kentucky finally beats Florida. Witness the longest active uninterrupted conference-foe losing streak in the entire world and behold the glorious shamefulness as it becomes tied for the all-time record of such things this year.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy 1, get 31 FREE!!! (Jump on this offer while it lasts, because soon it'll be buy 1, get 32!!)
This week in foobaw IT'S THE OVERSTOCK GAME LIQUIDATION SALE, GAMES UP TO 99% OFF! IF WE KEEP THESE GAMES PAST THE END OF THE WEEK, WE HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON THEM, SO EVERYTHING! MUST! GO!
Thursday, September 6
7:00 PM - Kennesaw State at Tennessee Tech. Yes, it's a game between FCS schools. Kennesaw State runs the option and is otherwise pretty entertaining, and Tennessee Tech is somebody against whom the option can be run. And it's the only thing on, so there's that.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Watch this game on ESPNU at NO ADDITIONAL COST. (Limit 1 per family.)
Friday, September 7
8:00 PM - #16 TCU at SMU. SMU just finished losing to the North Texas Mean Green by 3 TDs, so this will probably be pretty one sided. Still, it's the only thing on, once again.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy 1 TCU touchdown, get 2 FREE! (Deal expires in the middle of the third quarter.)
Saturday, September 8
12:00 PM - #18 Mississippi State at Kansas State. Miss State threw down buckets of points on something called SFA in Moorhead's debut. We knew he was an offensive genius, but honestly that doesn't really tell us anything. Kansas State needed a gutsy come from behind surge to survive FCS South Dakota in a narrow 27-24 win, but South Dakota is also becoming one of those weird FBS killers, and that was a trap game, and week 1 rust, etc. We basically know nothing going into this except MSST is favored to win with about an 80% chance according to ESPN FPI. That, and Bill Snyder is still on the KSU sideline, and he was playing everyone to a three point margin and defying ESPN FPI about 50 years before either of these things was invented.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Pay no taxes on JUCO transfers! (Valid at participating schools in the state of Kansas, only.)
12:00 PM - Arizona at Houston. Arizona, you both hired and then fired Rich Rodriguez, and now you must endure his fatal curse. If it can destroy the University of Michigan, what hope do you have? After a really embarrassing loss to BYU, Kevin Sumlin's squad is a coin flip against Houston, per ESPN FPI. I'd buy that for a dollar.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy one Houston touchdown, get one deluxe Arizona schadenfreude of equal or lesser value! (Credit approval required.)
12:00 PM - Duke at Northwestern. Northwestern defeated the Duke of the B1G, but can it handle the Purdue of the ACC?
THIS WEEK ONLY: Push, pull, or drag it in, we'll take any conference pride, no matter how damaged, in trade for 10% off the mental and emotional cost of watching this game! (Additional offers may not be combined.)
12:00 PM - Georgia Tech at South Florida. Georgia Tech reaches down into the bargain bin this week and pulls out a real gem. "Won 10 games!" it says right there on the cover, but when you open it up, it's full of D-list teams. If you look on the back there's a "Played close against UCF" endorsement. No mention of the fact that this isn't the version with Quinton Flowers. But hey, they have somebody else's recycled QB! Tune in to watch the Jackets throw this crap back into the trash.
THIS WEEK ONLY: 50% off all notepads and pencils storewide. It's a back to school sale. (While supplies last.)
1:00 PM - UCLA at #5 Oklahoma. Game 2 of the Chip Kelly era begins, and this is no cupcake game against the Cincinnati Bearcats. Although I'm sure Chip Kelly has thought of everything.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Complimentary bruin tears with any qualifying purchase at all game viewing locations! (This offer is not valid towards previous purchases.)
2:00 PM - Air Force at Florida Atlantic. It's time for Lane Kiffin University to get back to doing what it does best, which is play impressive games against teams on its level. Air Force is on its level, and is pretty good for such a team, so this could turn into a fun competitive game.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Show your military ID and receive a 10% discount on savage tweets. (It is a violation of federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.)
3:30 PM - Colorado at Nebraska. The Scott Frost era begins for the Cornhuskers. Will he restore them to their former glory? Colorado has been fielding decent teams recently, so they should provide a good indicator of what's to come.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Enjoy the premier ABC game in the 3:30 time slot for the price of something that would've been on ESPNews last week! (This offer has no cash value.)
3:30 PM - Memphis at Navy. Two frequently good G5 teams square off in a time slot that isn't going to have much in it. What's not to like?
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy the generic version of your perscription football games online and save up to 90%! (Seller not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform.)
3:30 PM - North Carolina at East Carolina. North Carolina declined to play football for three quarters against CAL. East Carolina lost to North Carolina A&T. This is one of those games that could be so bad, it's good.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Two North Carolina FBS teams, 99% off! (Sold as-is, for repair parts only. No returns, refunds, or exchanges.)
5:00 PM - Iowa State at Iowa. EL ASSICO. This game has a reputation for being comically bad, and one of these two teams is usually bad as a result of it (although often that is the winning team). This will just be starting around half time of the 3:30 slot, and so if all of those games are out of hand, maybe, just maybe this will tide you over until the 7 slot. Iowa is somehow the solid favorite.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy 10 commercials, get the 11th at 10% off! (Offer not valid for commercials over 15 seconds in length.)
7:00 PM - #2 Clemson at Texas A&M. The ole Dabo vs Jimbo show, just without all of the division implications. One would expect this to end about the same way as most of those have recently.
THIS WEEK ONLY: ACC/SEC showdown between two national championship coaches, half price! (Manufacturer refurbished, no warranty included.)
7:00 PM - Wyoming at Missouri. Wyoming won't win this one, they just don't have the offense or the depth to do it. But for three quarters, they are going to give us a good show on defense. Last Week, Washington State erupted for 21 points in the 4th quarter to win 41-19, but Wyoming actually led in the 4th quarter and kept it very close all of the third. Even with the gaudy final score, Wazzu didn't crack 400 total yards. This Wyoming defense is for real.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Rare punts at discount prices, wide selection, everything 25% off! (This product is meant for educational purposes only.)
7:30 PM - Virginia at Indiana. 27 ACC caliber players travel to the midwest to take on an upstart team that put a couple of interesting performances last year against top competition. Last year, UVA lost this one 34-17. I'm not entirely sure why this year would be different.
THIS WEEK ONLY: This game is 100% free. Please take it, no questions asked, nobody wants it. (Buyer must pay shipping.)
7:30 PM - Kentucky at Florida. This game is going to be on the watch list every year for the rest of time until Kentucky finally beats Florida. Witness the longest active uninterrupted conference-foe losing streak in the entire world and behold the glorious shamefulness as it becomes tied for the all-time record of such things this year.
THIS WEEK ONLY: Buy 1, get 31 FREE!!! (Jump on this offer while it lasts, because soon it'll be buy 1, get 32!!)
