LegendaryGT
Dodd-Like
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2009
- Messages
- 62,557
College football teams should learn to start playing their meaningless games later in the season, because it's starting to detract from the meaningfulness of all their other games when they lose this bad, this early. Holy Toledo, as it were, what a rough week. We're into the meat of the schedule now, let's see what we can salvage from the rubble:
Thursday, September 17
7:30 PM - Clemson at Louisville
The ACC plays another primetime Thursday night game that lacks luster, this time losing its luster before the game even started. Everyone had pencilled Louisville in as an Atlantic darkhorse and a potential top-25 finisher this season until they opened 0-2. The loss to Auburn was explainable, and so is the loss to Houston, and the explanation is apparently that Louisville isn't that good. Watching Auburn struggle into overtime against a FCS squad while Petrino played QB roulette again just makes me think that Clemson is an overwhelming lock of a favorite. But this, friends, is an ACC Thursday night game! If you're not familiar with these, the theme is this: the ACC embarasses itself in the worst way possible while everyone is watching because nothing else is on. So I'm confident we'll see a resurgent Louisville squad keep itself in the game by feasting on a littany of #Clemsoning and some genuine ACC referee action. And I'm talking about the kind of stuff made out in the woods in the mountains of North Carolina, not that city slicker stuff they try to pass off to northern tourists. Do yourself a favor, and don't try to interpret the results of this game while you're still under the effects. Just wake up the next day, chug four gallons of water, and check the recap, which might just say "well al lsaw pertiNo i'tns any good. CLems onshould hawve wione.,. what hapopned?" and know that it makes perfect sense.
Friday, September 18
8:00 PM - Florida State at Boston College
Florida State just got done struggling with USF while Boston College scored 76 points on some hopelessly overmatched team. No, I did not reverse those names on accident. No, I didn't do it on purpose, either. No, dude, they aren't reversed, that really happened. This game just got a lot more interesting than it was before. I think you can safely expect FSU to win this one, and resonably expect them to run away with it, but this BC team has a little more get-up-and-go to it than you may be used to. Another poor outing from FSU's QB could make this a close one.
Saturday, September 19
12:00 PM - South Florida at Maryland
Maryland gets a double dose of lower tier teams that are suddenly way stronger than expected. I am not a lawyer, but I think Maryland may have reasonable grounds to sue the FDA or something for not regulating stuff like this. It just needed something to blunt the effects of its grueling Big 10 schedule and now it's about to be on youtube in the back of a car (in that awful uniform) wondering if this is real life. I know that conujures up an adorable memory in your mind, but this Maryland team is a grown adult, which has already moved out and survived a lawsuit for $50 million and everything. It is strictly embarassing. That's never been a thing to stop youtube, though.
12:30 PM - Northwestern at Duke
If you know any Duke or Northwestern fans, then you know that a wine review is as appropriate as a game review, but we're doing game reviews here. Stay focused. I'd expect Northwestern to play the favorite, which would normally be a fairly fruity thought, and probably win in the face of a bold-finishing plucky effort by Duke that makes it close at the last minute. The body of the game will be fairly dry, but not like SEC game-of-the-century vintages. Then some sour and bitter notes from Cutcliffe in the postgame interview round the whole experience out. It's not likely to age into something better than it is now, so enjoy it casually with polite company today and seek classics for your film-review cellar elsewhere.
2:00 PM - Georgia State at Oregon
100 points. 100 points? 100 points.
3:00 PM - Memphis at Bowling Green
This should be renamed to the Red Bull "We just destroyed p5 teams lol" bowl. These two teams are apparently pretty good, and should play a good game of football. I feel like a team that hung around 50 on the previous opponent should be able to take it, but you can't count out a team that just put up 650+ yards of offense. What's that you say? Both teams did that? Yes, that's the theme here. I say we should put even more up at stake, on this game, though. This game should be played for the honor of maidens. That's right, if Bowling Green wins, then Kansas has no honor. If Memphis wins, Maryland is without virtue. Joust, sirs!
3:30 PM - East Carolina at Navy
Pirates and Navies have always been kind of natural enemies, right? In recent real-world conflicts, this hasn't been something that has turned out well for pirates, in both the general and specific senses. ECU has a whole lot on their shoulders, here. Will pirates become complete and total losers, as a class-occupation, or can they find one miniscule iota of redemption by virtue of a football victory in a way that is not even remotely related to actual pirates? I wouldn't want that pressure, I tell you.
3:30 PM - Virginia Tech at Purdue
Watch this if your school isn't doing too well and you want to feel better about that situation.
3:30 PM - Georgia Tech at Notre Dame
It's incredibly unfortunate for Notre Dame and for fans of the game in general that Malik Zaire was injured in a season-ending way last week, as a game between these two firing on all cylenders would have been an instant classic. We hope the young man has a speedy recovery and goes on to great things in life. It's still going to be a great game, though, and you should absolutely watch it because it is absolutely the best game in the time slot and perhaps even the entire day.
3:30 PM - Nebraska vs Miami (FL)
Miami had a pretty worrisome game against the Owls of FAU, before a complete implosion allowed them to streak away with the victory. Against an opponent with undoubtedly superior athleticism and depth, they probably can't hope for that much. Nebraska is kind of looking like a light at the end of a tunnel right now for the Hurricanes. I don't feel like it's the way out. Nebraska won by 10 points last year, so this isn't exactly a daring thought. I'd say watch this if you don't like Miami, if you do like Nebraska, or if you're curious about the correct application of men's neckwear on the sidelines.
3:30 PM - Auburn at LSU
Given last week's results, it's difficult to project this week for both of these teams. Mississippi State was clearly not top 25 material, but they made it close. Auburn is clearly not top 10 material, but they are probably better than Mississippi State. LSU is probably top 25 material, but they'll end up in the top 5 if they win which is almost certainly too high. It's always so complicated in the SEC, because the rankings never reflect reality. It's like a big game of rankings Stratego. Where are you hiding your Marshal, SEC West?
4:00 PM - Western Kentucky at Indiana
This game will be a shootout. Observe if you just need a touchdown fix and want to see a game that will probably come down to the wire.
6:00 PM - South Carolina at Georgia
Well South Carolina doesn't look good this year, but that has never stopped Spurrier from delivering. Georgia's quarterback situation looks hopeless, and SCar did pick off a set of UNC passes, so maybe there's hope? Georgia's defense and run game looks sufficient to handle this, though. Who knows? Potential for a schadenfreude supervolcano in Athens or Columbia, either way.
7:00 PM - Texas Tech at Arkansas
Just for some laughs. Arkansas just lost to Toledo, and could continue dragging all of the pre-season hypesters and SEC West-ers through their hogwash of shame.
7:00 PM - Colorado at Colorado State
Colorado State is pretty good this year. Again. Plus, at this rate we're not going to have any rivalry games left for rivalry week. Get your rivalry fix stored up for the winter, folks.
