LegendaryGT
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Week 6 starts with us watching it on Wednesday, way out there, as it spins slowly towards us with a high degree of uncertainty and the potential for a total mess. That makes this the category 4 hurricane of college football weeks. Also, if you haven't heard, there's an actual category 4 hurricane on the way, so board up your windows, strap down your satellite dishes, stockpile your drink of choice and some AA batteries, and try not to get blown away by all the action. Get it? Blown away. Aha.
Wednesday, October 5
8:00 PM - Georgia Southern at Arkansas State. Get a rare chance to scout one of our upcoming opponents when there isn't anything else on TV. Arkansas State doesn't have a win yet this season, even surrendering a loss to the University of Central Arkansas for that program's first ever FBS win. Southern is coming off a loss to the surprisingly undefeated Western Michigan Broncos and a bye week. They'll play us next. Trap game?
Thursday, October 6
8:00 PM - Temple at Memphis, Western Kentucky at Louisiana Tech. It's a shame these are both on at the same time, as they are both going to be pretty good football games. Louisiana Tech and Temple have had more stumbles than their opponents this year, but both are bringing some pretty good units into the game, and 3 of these head coaches have a legitimate shot of being hired away by the start of next season.
Friday, October 7
7:30 PM - Clemson at Boston College. Dear ACC, what the hell are you doing?
8:00 PM - SMU at Tulsa. Tulsa is averaging north of 45 points per game against teams not named Ohio State. SMU is not really doing that, but hey anything can happen. This is really just listed because Tulsa are the Golden Hurricanes, and that is our theme this week.
Saturday, October 8
12:00 PM - East Carolina at South Florida. If the ESPNEWS cameras still function, you'll get to see the first ever college football game played entirely under water and/or with wind-tossed refugees in the stands. No fact checking, please.
12:00 PM - TCU at Kansas. Kansas could win this. Just sayin'. Kansas could also lose this by 60 points. Also just sayin'.
12:00 PM - Texas vs Oklahoma. Bob Stoops continues his undefeated-in-big-12 campaign to ruin what's left of the league's already minuscule playoff hopes. He saves his own job by metaphorically beheading Charlie Strong and absorbing his power, just as Strong did to him last year. The difference is, Charlie Strong won't be back next year.
12:00 PM - Notre Dame at NC State. NC State is favored by 2 points in this game, which has to be making Notre Dame fans nervous. Notre Dame and NC State have only met once before in history, in the 2003 Gator Bowl. NC State had Philip Rivers at QB and Notre Dame was starting school-record-breaking quarterack Carlyle Holiday who was later converted to a wide receiver and punt returner. In that game, NC State was also favored by just 2 points, and it ended in complete disaster for Notre Dame, with their QB knocked out of the game and a 28-6 loss. Disaster is another theme of the day. This one is in the path of Matthew, but will probably still be dry around kickoff.
12:00 PM - LSU at Florida. Two Purdue quarterbacks meet in a hurricane, what do you call it? LSU at Florida! *rimshot* This may be the closest game to the eye of the hurricane that actually gets played. I think all of the above favors the running game.
12:30 PM - Georgia Tech at Pittsburgh. This will be a good game and out of the path of natural disaster, but you won't be able to talk about it because the server is definitely going to melt. Fits the theme, even still.
3:00 PM - Houston at Navy. Imagine this as Georgia Tech vs Ohio State while you're watching, then start a thread about Sewak.
3:30 PM - Texas State at Georgia State. It could be wet weather, but nobody will know since they play in a dome.
3:30 PM - Charlotte at Florida Atlantic. Since this stadium will actually be in the immediate vicinity of the eye of the hurricane at 2 AM on Friday, I don't think it'll be played, because the area will in all likelihood be a flooded, scrambled disaster zone.
3:30 PM - Virginia Tech at North Carolina. One of these two teams gets to face off with Miami for a chance to be dismantled by Clemson in the ACC Championship Game at the end of the season. Both teams have been scoring like mad since their early defeats to SEC foes, and this game should be no exception. As above, in the path of the hurricane, but likely dry at kickoff.
3:30 PM - Army at Duke. Imagine this as Army vs Duke while you're watching, then start a thread about Sewak. Nobody really cares whether this is in the path of the storm or not.
3:30 PM - BYU at Michigan State. This game is only listed here because BYU has now played 5 games in a row where the final margin was 3 points or less either way, and this could very easily be the sixth. How long can they keep this going?
3:30 PM - Tennessee at Texas A&M. Two heavyweights headline in a collossal game of very little importance, that will nonetheless be very entertaining and provide some excellent schadenfreude. Tennessee needs to win this game in order to keep its tenuous hopes at winning the SEC East alive, while winning its division is not really on the table for aTm. Both of these teams will be devoured for their nutritional rankings by Saban by the end of the regular season, but the real intrigue here is that Kevin Sumlin will probably lose his job if he loses two SEC games this year, while Butch Jones can probably survive two losses if both of them are to Alabama. A crack team of economists, human behavioral scientists, statisticians, management majors, and interested bystanders are trying to figure out why.
4:00 PM - Colorado at USC. USC basically needs to win this game to stay in the bowl picture. Racking up 4 losses before you go on to play a whirlwind tour of Arizona, Cal, Oregon, Washington, and UCLA is not going to cut it. Notre Dame is on the end there too but lol. Also don't look now but Colorado is ranked and might be good. Alas, poor Clay Helton! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of calamitous inability, of most inefficient utilization. Now he ded.
7:00 PM - Syracuse at Wake Forest. Why not?
7:00 PM - Alabama at Arkansas. Arkansas has fattened itself up to near the top 15 and now lays itself upon the altar to be sacrificed to Saban. Head on over to the Arkansas forums for a lot of legitimate squealing. If, you know, that's your thing or whatever. I'm not judging, this is the internet.
7:30 PM - Georgia at South Carolina. Sleeper agent Muschamp leads another pack of unwitting victims into a game against his masters. He's done well, dismantling the two teams that beat UGA most often. The only problem this time is that Georgia may have hired sleeper double agent Kirby Smart, and I think the Alabama football secret service can take the Georgia football secret service. This game could actually be right underneath a category 1 or 2 hurricane, though, so maybe not. Although if it does get played, surely the weather does not favor throwing the ball, and since that's not something Muschamp quarterbacks are instructed how to do anyways... hmmm...
7:30 PM - Washington at Oregon. Washington looks like it's about to fly through the Pac 12 and into the playoff. Beating Oregon by 3 TDs would be a solid start. This could be a fun game.
8:00 PM - Florida State at Miami. This one could also be in a disaster zone, but ABC owns it so it'll definitely happen, right? Don't you cancel this on me dammit. They call themselves the Miami Hurricanes for a reason, they're prepared, just take my word for it. I need to see Florida State lose a third ACC game and stay ranked somehow.
9:00 PM until you fall asleep - The entire Pac 12 plays the entire Pac 12 in a bunch of meaningless games. O/U 1 billion.
Anything that got lost in the storm?
Wednesday, October 5
8:00 PM - Georgia Southern at Arkansas State. Get a rare chance to scout one of our upcoming opponents when there isn't anything else on TV. Arkansas State doesn't have a win yet this season, even surrendering a loss to the University of Central Arkansas for that program's first ever FBS win. Southern is coming off a loss to the surprisingly undefeated Western Michigan Broncos and a bye week. They'll play us next. Trap game?
Thursday, October 6
8:00 PM - Temple at Memphis, Western Kentucky at Louisiana Tech. It's a shame these are both on at the same time, as they are both going to be pretty good football games. Louisiana Tech and Temple have had more stumbles than their opponents this year, but both are bringing some pretty good units into the game, and 3 of these head coaches have a legitimate shot of being hired away by the start of next season.
Friday, October 7
7:30 PM - Clemson at Boston College. Dear ACC, what the hell are you doing?
8:00 PM - SMU at Tulsa. Tulsa is averaging north of 45 points per game against teams not named Ohio State. SMU is not really doing that, but hey anything can happen. This is really just listed because Tulsa are the Golden Hurricanes, and that is our theme this week.
Saturday, October 8
12:00 PM - East Carolina at South Florida. If the ESPNEWS cameras still function, you'll get to see the first ever college football game played entirely under water and/or with wind-tossed refugees in the stands. No fact checking, please.
12:00 PM - TCU at Kansas. Kansas could win this. Just sayin'. Kansas could also lose this by 60 points. Also just sayin'.
12:00 PM - Texas vs Oklahoma. Bob Stoops continues his undefeated-in-big-12 campaign to ruin what's left of the league's already minuscule playoff hopes. He saves his own job by metaphorically beheading Charlie Strong and absorbing his power, just as Strong did to him last year. The difference is, Charlie Strong won't be back next year.
12:00 PM - Notre Dame at NC State. NC State is favored by 2 points in this game, which has to be making Notre Dame fans nervous. Notre Dame and NC State have only met once before in history, in the 2003 Gator Bowl. NC State had Philip Rivers at QB and Notre Dame was starting school-record-breaking quarterack Carlyle Holiday who was later converted to a wide receiver and punt returner. In that game, NC State was also favored by just 2 points, and it ended in complete disaster for Notre Dame, with their QB knocked out of the game and a 28-6 loss. Disaster is another theme of the day. This one is in the path of Matthew, but will probably still be dry around kickoff.
12:00 PM - LSU at Florida. Two Purdue quarterbacks meet in a hurricane, what do you call it? LSU at Florida! *rimshot* This may be the closest game to the eye of the hurricane that actually gets played. I think all of the above favors the running game.
12:30 PM - Georgia Tech at Pittsburgh. This will be a good game and out of the path of natural disaster, but you won't be able to talk about it because the server is definitely going to melt. Fits the theme, even still.
3:00 PM - Houston at Navy. Imagine this as Georgia Tech vs Ohio State while you're watching, then start a thread about Sewak.
3:30 PM - Texas State at Georgia State. It could be wet weather, but nobody will know since they play in a dome.
3:30 PM - Charlotte at Florida Atlantic. Since this stadium will actually be in the immediate vicinity of the eye of the hurricane at 2 AM on Friday, I don't think it'll be played, because the area will in all likelihood be a flooded, scrambled disaster zone.
3:30 PM - Virginia Tech at North Carolina. One of these two teams gets to face off with Miami for a chance to be dismantled by Clemson in the ACC Championship Game at the end of the season. Both teams have been scoring like mad since their early defeats to SEC foes, and this game should be no exception. As above, in the path of the hurricane, but likely dry at kickoff.
3:30 PM - Army at Duke. Imagine this as Army vs Duke while you're watching, then start a thread about Sewak. Nobody really cares whether this is in the path of the storm or not.
3:30 PM - BYU at Michigan State. This game is only listed here because BYU has now played 5 games in a row where the final margin was 3 points or less either way, and this could very easily be the sixth. How long can they keep this going?
3:30 PM - Tennessee at Texas A&M. Two heavyweights headline in a collossal game of very little importance, that will nonetheless be very entertaining and provide some excellent schadenfreude. Tennessee needs to win this game in order to keep its tenuous hopes at winning the SEC East alive, while winning its division is not really on the table for aTm. Both of these teams will be devoured for their nutritional rankings by Saban by the end of the regular season, but the real intrigue here is that Kevin Sumlin will probably lose his job if he loses two SEC games this year, while Butch Jones can probably survive two losses if both of them are to Alabama. A crack team of economists, human behavioral scientists, statisticians, management majors, and interested bystanders are trying to figure out why.
4:00 PM - Colorado at USC. USC basically needs to win this game to stay in the bowl picture. Racking up 4 losses before you go on to play a whirlwind tour of Arizona, Cal, Oregon, Washington, and UCLA is not going to cut it. Notre Dame is on the end there too but lol. Also don't look now but Colorado is ranked and might be good. Alas, poor Clay Helton! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of calamitous inability, of most inefficient utilization. Now he ded.
7:00 PM - Syracuse at Wake Forest. Why not?
7:00 PM - Alabama at Arkansas. Arkansas has fattened itself up to near the top 15 and now lays itself upon the altar to be sacrificed to Saban. Head on over to the Arkansas forums for a lot of legitimate squealing. If, you know, that's your thing or whatever. I'm not judging, this is the internet.
7:30 PM - Georgia at South Carolina. Sleeper agent Muschamp leads another pack of unwitting victims into a game against his masters. He's done well, dismantling the two teams that beat UGA most often. The only problem this time is that Georgia may have hired sleeper double agent Kirby Smart, and I think the Alabama football secret service can take the Georgia football secret service. This game could actually be right underneath a category 1 or 2 hurricane, though, so maybe not. Although if it does get played, surely the weather does not favor throwing the ball, and since that's not something Muschamp quarterbacks are instructed how to do anyways... hmmm...
7:30 PM - Washington at Oregon. Washington looks like it's about to fly through the Pac 12 and into the playoff. Beating Oregon by 3 TDs would be a solid start. This could be a fun game.
8:00 PM - Florida State at Miami. This one could also be in a disaster zone, but ABC owns it so it'll definitely happen, right? Don't you cancel this on me dammit. They call themselves the Miami Hurricanes for a reason, they're prepared, just take my word for it. I need to see Florida State lose a third ACC game and stay ranked somehow.
9:00 PM until you fall asleep - The entire Pac 12 plays the entire Pac 12 in a bunch of meaningless games. O/U 1 billion.
Anything that got lost in the storm?
