This has little to do with the original topic, but are some noted observations that might be helpful to those raising children.
I have raised two daughters and a son and have eight grandchildren. I have watched, intently, as each one of them grew and developed.
Look at the people around you daily in all walks of life. Some follow the rules and try to do the right things, while others will try to get away with anything they can.
At work, notice the boss has to discipline some employess while others need practically no discipline. Children are just like this, only younger. All three of my children are different and have reacted differently, although all were from the same parents and same basic invironment.
Watch them carefully and determine their characteristics. Do not withhold discipline when they need it, but make sure each child knows he is being disciplined because you love him and want him to be the best he can be.
You cannot love a child without giving him necessary discipline. You cannot discipline a child unless you let him know you truly love him. Discipline must be meted with love.
When your children get older and want to spend the night with other children, insist on talking with the parents of the other children to insure things are as the child says.
I had one daughter who was extremely disciplined and would strive to do no wrong. Since both daughters had the same upbringing, I assumed the second daughter would be as strong as the first, and I was not as alert as I should have been.
She tells us now (grown with teenagers) she wanted to spend the night with one of her school friends. The only problem, the other girl would tell her mother the same. Since our family and the friend's family were considered decent people, neither of us checked with the other parent.
Instead, the two girls would spend the night with an older girl and go driving around the area looking for excitement. Luckily, she never got into any real trouble, but the potential was great for the same.
My son was somewhere in between the two daughters. He was a good kid with pretty good restraint, but he could have easily been killed by some of the bad decisions he made with some of his friends racing their autos on some of the back roads of the local township.
We did not know all of this until they were grown and began to tell us of these things. We raised them in the Church and taught them honesty and integrity at home. All three are very good citizens with very good morals, but two of them could have gotten into serious trouble because of their associations.
I have observed the lives of friends in the local Church and the results of some of their parenting. I have seen some good results and some very bad results from parenting. The worst case scenarious were those parents bringing their children up in the Church, but failing to discipline them in the home or at Church.
My observation was the parents were Sunday attendees, but the rest of the time, their actions were more toward material gains and good times. I think it sent a wrong signal to their children. Many times, it resulted in disastrous events for the kids and the families.
Extremely Important: Make sure your personal life is the same at Church, home and work. Your life is a bouy or lighthouse to your children. You cannot teach them one way and live another. A bouy or lighthouse must always be in the same place to be effective. A child trying to tie his life to a moving target will have a very difficult time.
Some parents will cheat on Income Taxes, business dealings, sell a car with a faulty motor to another person without divulging the fault, sell other damaged goods, steal things from work, etc., and then pretend to be good Christians. That is a disaster waiting to happen in their children who are watching the hypocrisy.
Also Important: A child must have discipline. It is not only helpful, it is a necessity. If a parent does not correct and discipline a child, it sends a signal to the child that the parent does not care what he does. I have had kids tell me their parents don't care what they do, as long as their parents don't have to spend time with them.
Also Important: It is essential for a parent to monitor the friends of their children. A parent should be alert to the characteristics of their children's associations. Check on the characteristics of their friends and their friend's parents.
Any bad influences should be avoided or controlled by close supervision at your home and not their friend's home. Bad influences can have a devastating effect on some of the best kids.
Your kids are watching and observing every move you make. Are you trying to be the best person you can be, or are you placing all of your emphasis on material things. What signals are you sending to your kids. "A good name is to be chosen, rather than great riches".