Avoid the Crab Legs in West Louisiana

Bob Benson

Bob Benson

Trump Train on these Tools
Ban Hammer'd
Joined
Apr 23, 2016
Messages
257
In 1975 Barry SwitZer traveled to West Louisiana to scope out a kicker who he felt might upstart his special teams unit. He made the trek down to the bayou with two assistants and his wife, looking for a few drinks and a few crab legs on the way.

Upon arrival Switzer and his gang enjoyed themselves a fine Cajun cuisine and let it settle as they met with the parents of the young recruit they sought. They told the kid if he wanted to beat Texas and to be a true southwesterner who one day could play for the Dallas Cowboys then he should be a Sooner in Indian Territory.

Well upon watching the kid kick the next night at his game they had a change of heart. His kicks seemed to be much less intense and on point than what was conveyed to them back in Norman. His head coach was a liar.

Upon grabbing a bite with his family after the game they sat down for crab legs and SwitZer began to become ill. He told the young kicker he just wasn't powerful enough with his leg to beat Texas and become a boomer spooner or a pot Royal Dallas Cowboy.

The entire group became ill at dinner from the crab legs and they all concluded that it's better to see the kicker kick it in person than go by hearsay.

Well at the motel that might the staff decided to rescind the offer.

The moral of be story they said? Don't order the crab legs and refer the kid to Mississippi State and Starkville.

Enjoy Starkvegas, Bolovus.

We enjoyed Butker, now time to land the kid from Mill Creek.

It's gonna happen boys.

Here we come.

Do it the SwitZer way and rescind the offer, refer the prospect to the fighting Bulldogs of Miss State.

What SwitZer does Spitzer refers. Elliot Spitzer was the kicker.

This was 1974. It's now 2017. Bring in the ace leg, coaches. You showed with butker you can make the right decision. Stick to the meat and potatoes and send the seafood back to athena and Starkville.

And most of all, avoid those west Louisiana crab legs.

Here we come boys.

Jacket Heart
 
64584ef4eb91543587af77cdeeb904c5.jpg
 
So there's a woman who loves purple. Like, ööööing loves it.

Purple doors. Purple curtains. Purple panties. Purple soaps. Purple everything.

She drives a purple car and even asked her boss permission to paint her office purple.

Her least favorite movie is The Purple People Eater, because it gives the color a bad name.

One day a guy stops by her large purple house (it's hard to miss) and knocks on the purple door.

"Hi, do you have a spare room?"

"As a matter of fact I do," says the woman in a purple dress. She leads him through the purple door, into the purple hallway, and past another purple door. And another purple door. She finally stops by the purple door at the end of the purple hallway.

"Here you are."

The guy goes through the purple door, into the purple room, and unpacks his suitcase into a purple dresser. At the end of the night, he lays down in the purple bed and rests his head on the purple pillow.

The next day, he hears the woman screaming.

"Breakfast!"

He gets out of the purple bed, gets his clothes from the purple dresser, and goes out the purple door into the purple hallway. He finds his way to the kitchen and sits down at the purple table.

The woman opens the purple cupboard and pulls out two boxes of cereal: Wheaties and Cheerios. She sets them on the purple table.

"What would you like?"

The man considers for a moment before finally responding: "Cheerios."

The woman smiles.

"So it's true: 2 out of 3 do prefer Cheerios over Wheaties."

Jacket Heart
 
I presume Bolovus is the recruit Quinlan tweeted about that is taking a visit elsewhere? That's a big jacket fart for sure.

Did the OP email his mom?
 
Bob Benson maybe the next Derrick Moore. I can see kids running through walls for this guy. Keep it up Bob!
 
BarrelORum said:
Bob Benson maybe the next Derrick Moore. I can see kids running through walls for this guy. Keep it up Bob!
Click to expand...
I would pay so.. so much money to see this. Halfway through Benson's speech, Moore selects a team leader and hands him the hammer. The leader uses it to mercilessly beat Benson and the rest of the team follows suit. 15-0, national champions. All these years, all it took to get us over the hump was a bit of ultra-violence before each game.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top