delete

It's a conspiracy. Since we don't qualify as a team with SEC speed, ESPN has pulled the plug on tonight's broadcast. Instead, a lively re-air of the 2007 World Series of Poker will be shown in its place.
 
wait, what's going on?

I looked at my DISH program guide.

No football. Called DISH. They said, "There's football, you're stupid." I assured them it didn't show. They told me to turn the receiver off, and a couple minutes later, they told me to turn it back on.

Lo and behold, there is football at 7:30 now.
 
Yeah, I still have ESPN News, Classic, and ESPN2. ESPN is just black. If it's not back soon, I'm gonna break something.
 
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