JTS
Jolly Good Fellow
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2003
- Messages
- 1,928
For those who were not able to keep track of all the information coming in from insider sources today, here is a comprehensive summary of what I feel is the most accurate information:
Paul Johnson is in!!!!!!!!!!!
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, Navy has offered to fly him in on a fighter jet and make the announcment from an aircraft carrier "W" style.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PJ is afraid to fly and of water.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, although PJ does not like the water. He loves the way a Navy Seal wetsuit highlights his physique. Navy has offered to make him an honorary Navy Seal and give him his own wetsuit.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in... Apparently, we offered to get PJ a good haircut so he "won't look like Frankenstein minus the bolts coming out of his neck". Inside sources believe that Navy cannot possibly match this offer.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out... Apparently, PJ likes the Frankenstein look. This is a major gaffe by GT. Inside sources say that it was Clough's idea.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently in an attempt to make up for what has become known as Hair Gate, GT has put together a top notch research team consisting of a partnership between the Electrical Eng., Mechanical Eng., and Biology Departments to devise a way to actually add bolts to PJ's neck thus completing the Frankenstein look. In addition to the obvious cosmetic value of the bolts, they would also emit a non-lethal shock to any journalists asking dumb questions solely for entertainment purposes.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, PJ owns one of those miltary grade Hummers like Arnold and the SMU boosters have offered to provide free gas for it during his entire tenure at SMU. The addition of this clause apparently doubles the value of SMU's previous offer and puts them well ahead of the rest of the pack.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PJ is a Chevy guy and refuses to coach a team nicknamed the Mustangs. He also hates horses because they have "crazy, evil looking eyes." PJ suggested that they change their name to the Fightin' Frankensteins as a compromise, but this did not go over well with SMU.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, Duke has brokered a deal with ACC HQ to allow ACC basketball officials to referee all of Duke's football games during PJ's tenure in Durham. With this change, Insiders believe that Duke could win a ACC football title as early as next year.
This just in.... Paul Johson is back in.... Apparently just as he was agreeing in principle to the deal with Duke, PJ asked to get a tour of the facilities including the stadium. When informed that he was in fact standing in the middle of the stadium, PJ just turned and walk away with out saying a word.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, SMU changed their mind and is now willing to change their name to the Cow Punchers. Their new logo would depict a picture of Frankenstein breaking a horse in half across its knee which pleased PJ very much.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PETA caught wind of SMU's planned new logo and told the Governor of Texas that they were going to come down "Michael Vick-style" on him if he allowed the change to happen so the deal is off.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, some of the mouses in the football computer lounge stick and PJ can't stand getting fragged while playing his favorite first person shooter games because we're too cheap to have working mice. The entire football team gave him a standing ovation as he marched out of the building.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, Mrs. Johnson really liked the World of Coke. Especially, the Coke Fountain that shoots the Coke across the room into the cup. Coke has agreed to build a full size replica of the fountain in the Johnson's new home in Atlanta and this sealed the deal.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, just as PJ was about to ink the deal some idiot from the AA mentioned that the Ramblin' Wreck was a Ford. As previously mentioned, PJ is a Chevy guy. The deal is off.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, we agreed to attach a small decal on the rear bumper of the Ramblin' Wreck depicting Calvin of "Calvin & Hobbs" fame urinating on a Ford logo and this sealed the deal.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, faced with all the attention, money, and incentives being thrown at PJ he has fallen into a life crisis ala Dave Chapelle and has flown to Africa to have a sabatical with his "Inner Spirit". It is unclear when or if this situation will resolve itself.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PJ loves his energy drink and wouldn't you know it that his favorite is Atlanta's own Lil John's "Crunk Juice". In addition, Coke has given permission for the previously mention replica World of Coke fountain to be retrofitted to fire Crunk Juice. When presented with this counter all PJ could say was "YEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I know that there is a lot of noise going around right now so I hope this has helped bring everybody up to speed and provide some true insight into what is going on behind the scenes.
Paul Johnson is in!!!!!!!!!!!
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, Navy has offered to fly him in on a fighter jet and make the announcment from an aircraft carrier "W" style.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PJ is afraid to fly and of water.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, although PJ does not like the water. He loves the way a Navy Seal wetsuit highlights his physique. Navy has offered to make him an honorary Navy Seal and give him his own wetsuit.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in... Apparently, we offered to get PJ a good haircut so he "won't look like Frankenstein minus the bolts coming out of his neck". Inside sources believe that Navy cannot possibly match this offer.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out... Apparently, PJ likes the Frankenstein look. This is a major gaffe by GT. Inside sources say that it was Clough's idea.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently in an attempt to make up for what has become known as Hair Gate, GT has put together a top notch research team consisting of a partnership between the Electrical Eng., Mechanical Eng., and Biology Departments to devise a way to actually add bolts to PJ's neck thus completing the Frankenstein look. In addition to the obvious cosmetic value of the bolts, they would also emit a non-lethal shock to any journalists asking dumb questions solely for entertainment purposes.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, PJ owns one of those miltary grade Hummers like Arnold and the SMU boosters have offered to provide free gas for it during his entire tenure at SMU. The addition of this clause apparently doubles the value of SMU's previous offer and puts them well ahead of the rest of the pack.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PJ is a Chevy guy and refuses to coach a team nicknamed the Mustangs. He also hates horses because they have "crazy, evil looking eyes." PJ suggested that they change their name to the Fightin' Frankensteins as a compromise, but this did not go over well with SMU.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, Duke has brokered a deal with ACC HQ to allow ACC basketball officials to referee all of Duke's football games during PJ's tenure in Durham. With this change, Insiders believe that Duke could win a ACC football title as early as next year.
This just in.... Paul Johson is back in.... Apparently just as he was agreeing in principle to the deal with Duke, PJ asked to get a tour of the facilities including the stadium. When informed that he was in fact standing in the middle of the stadium, PJ just turned and walk away with out saying a word.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, SMU changed their mind and is now willing to change their name to the Cow Punchers. Their new logo would depict a picture of Frankenstein breaking a horse in half across its knee which pleased PJ very much.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PETA caught wind of SMU's planned new logo and told the Governor of Texas that they were going to come down "Michael Vick-style" on him if he allowed the change to happen so the deal is off.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, some of the mouses in the football computer lounge stick and PJ can't stand getting fragged while playing his favorite first person shooter games because we're too cheap to have working mice. The entire football team gave him a standing ovation as he marched out of the building.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, Mrs. Johnson really liked the World of Coke. Especially, the Coke Fountain that shoots the Coke across the room into the cup. Coke has agreed to build a full size replica of the fountain in the Johnson's new home in Atlanta and this sealed the deal.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, just as PJ was about to ink the deal some idiot from the AA mentioned that the Ramblin' Wreck was a Ford. As previously mentioned, PJ is a Chevy guy. The deal is off.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, we agreed to attach a small decal on the rear bumper of the Ramblin' Wreck depicting Calvin of "Calvin & Hobbs" fame urinating on a Ford logo and this sealed the deal.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is out.... Apparently, faced with all the attention, money, and incentives being thrown at PJ he has fallen into a life crisis ala Dave Chapelle and has flown to Africa to have a sabatical with his "Inner Spirit". It is unclear when or if this situation will resolve itself.
This just in.... Paul Johnson is back in.... Apparently, PJ loves his energy drink and wouldn't you know it that his favorite is Atlanta's own Lil John's "Crunk Juice". In addition, Coke has given permission for the previously mention replica World of Coke fountain to be retrofitted to fire Crunk Juice. When presented with this counter all PJ could say was "YEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I know that there is a lot of noise going around right now so I hope this has helped bring everybody up to speed and provide some true insight into what is going on behind the scenes.
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