Do not wear Gucci or Prada to the game. Wear your Cardinal and Gold paraphenalia like God intended. Make fun of our orange shirts and painted faces and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not bring calamari and champagne to the tailgate. Down in these parts we eat barbecue ribs, pork, hamburgers, hotdogs, fried chicken and tater salad. Make fun of our tailgate food and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not make fun of the way we talk. We do that on purpose so you can't understand what we are saying. We understand and that is all that matters. Make fun of the way we talk and we'll kick your A$$.
Yes we know we have beautiful girls. And their parts are REAL. Do not dare make fun of our women. Women are the backbone of Southern society. Our women can fish, pop a tent, landscape a yard, work all day, AND cook like Betty Crocker for a family of 8, raise children and look as fresh as June Cleaver by suppertime. Make fun of or even think of hitting on our women and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not dare drive if it rains. We know it doesn't rain in LA. Drive in the rain and stop traffic and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not make fun of our small town. We like it. We saw the slums in LA last year. This is God's country. Make fun of our small town and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not curse in front of our Bible believing blue-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your A$$ just like they did ours.
Do not make fun of Aubie. He's won 5 National Championships. Make fun of our mascot, and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not order cous-cous, tilapia, or a Greek Salad at the Cracker Barrell in Opelika. Stick to something they know. Confuse them and the'll kick your A$$.
Do not call us backwards. We are not deprived of technology. Have we ever run out of electricity? You did. Make fun of our technology and we'll kick your A$$.
Do not call us stupid. Do Faulkner, Grisham, and Tennessee Williams ring a bell? We're very smart. We WANT you to think we're stupid so we can laugh at you behind your back. Call us stupid and we'll kick your A$$.
Yes we know "Eye of the Tiger " WAS from Rocky and frankly we don't care. Make fun of our songs and we'll kick your A$$.
Yes we have flags, magnets, tiger tails, and other paraphernalia on our cars. And yes, we shake our shakers so hard and so long that our arms are about to fall off. But so what? We saw that dead pit you call a stadium in LA. Make fun of our school spirit and we'll kick your A$$.
And last but not least, do not DARE say anything bad about Bo Jackson, Pat Sullivan, Pat Dye, or Shug Jordan. Make fun of those four people and you will be sent home in a pine box minus your A$$.
And since this is all in good fun....MAKE SURE you come to Auburn and have a darn good time. Come to Auburn and NOT have a good time, and we'll kick your A$$!
