unless Paul Johnson works for the NSA on the side
BuzzCzar, on an international business trip to Austria, picks up a call on his cell phone, "Hello, this is-"
Paul Johnson snatches the phone from his hands, puts it on speaker phone and sets it on the desk in front of him. "Start again."
BuzzCzar looks at Paul, who is unexpectedly standing behind him, in terror and confusion, "Coach, what the hell are you doing?"
Paul Johnson lights a cigar in BuzzCzar's non-smoking hotel room, "It's called wiretapping son."
BuzzCzar's phone starts transmitting the other side of the line, "Zar? Ist das deine Mutter ich? Ich hoffe, sie ist nach dem letzten Mal gut."
Paul Johnson casually tosses a notepad and pen onto the desk, "Write that down. I don't know what the hell he said about your mother, but they don't pay me for that anyhow."
BuzzCzar begins to object, "Paul, this isn't how wiretapping works, and you're violating just about every right and law known to man."
Paul Johnson finishes his glass of whiskey and throws the glass in the trash, "Now you're going to tell me who let you know my code name was Paul. Pretty sure I have to kill him."
BuzzCzar speaks into his phone, "I'm sorry, I'll have to call you back. Bye." but before he can hang up, Paul Johnson leans over to the receiver and says "Ich werde dich finden, son."
There's a knock on the door, Paul opens it and two Austrian solid 7's walk in.
BuzzCzar can't believe his eyes, "Coach, you could do way better than that in Austria, let me show you how beautiful the women of this country are."
Paul picks up his sunglasses and car keys, "Son, a good woman is like a college football offense. It isn't a beautiful thing until you break another man's will to live with it."
With that, he leaves.