Dear Coach Johnson

Jo_Vision said:
Dear Coach Johnson

Blah, blah, blah.
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I can give you a small but helpful tip.

Any fan letter that CPJ gets that isn't from a little kid that starts off with "Dear Coach Johnson..." he literally is going to use it for toilet paper.
 
Jacketblind said:
Dear Paul Johnson,

I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, öööö it, what's been up, man? How's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant, too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie, too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground öööö that you did with Ga. Southern
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the öööö you did with Navy, too, that öööö was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan

T- Stan.
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10/10 idea
2/10 execution
 
Jo_Vision said:
Everything that happens on that field is your fault. Those kids are not paid professionals, but you are. They are college kids looking for an education and an opportunity to play a game that you invited them to play.

YOU recruit them
YOU coach them
YOU discipline them
YOU play them
YOU call the plays

No mistake out there can’t be attributed to a deficiency of one of the items on the list above. I’m sorry coach, I have been a fan of your football knowledge for a long time but I am tired of you disrespecting your players. Good leaders deflect praise and shoulder responsibility. Consider that it is hard for someone to fight for you on the field when you won’t fight for them off the field. Be Mike Gundy for once.

That is all.
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Cpj, if you are reading this, please never be like Mike Gundy, thanks.
 
Dear coach Johnson,

I can tolerate most of the juvenile things that happen with your team.


However, THIS......I WILL NOT TOLERATE.


I will NOT tolerate you losing a single game this year.



So, here it is:


Coach Johnson


I recommend you do these things...very quickly:


1. You WILL apologize and stop letting your team wet the bed in the 4th quarter


2. You will only sign 4 & 5 stars from here on out.


3. I expect an IMMEDIATE and FORMAL condemnation by all of your staff of anybody that suggest your offense doesn't work.


I'm prepared to pursue this issue further in legal venue if these 3 requests are not acted upon by 1:00 PM today.


I can handle all manner of juvenile behavior on here.


However, I WILL NOT tolerate slanderous/illegal/highly offensive things being IMPLIED about Tech fans


I await your immediate response and action.


Yes. I am SERIOUS.


F-ING SERIOUS

That is all.
 
My Dearest Paul. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other with our new teams, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent falls on the flats, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Diseqc
 
Tshirt Man said:
Dear coach Johnson,

I can tolerate most of the juvenile things that happen with your team.


However, THIS......I WILL NOT TOLERATE.


I will NOT tolerate you losing a single game this year.



So, here it is:


Coach Johnson


I recommend you do these things...very quickly:


1. You WILL apologize and stop letting your team wet the bed in the 4th quarter


2. You will only sign 4 & 5 stars from here on out.


3. I expect an IMMEDIATE and FORMAL condemnation by all of your staff of anybody that suggest your offense doesn't work.


I'm prepared to pursue this issue further in legal venue if these 3 requests are not acted upon by 1:00 PM today.


I can handle all manner of juvenile behavior on here.


However, I WILL NOT tolerate slanderous/illegal/highly offensive things being IMPLIED about Tech fans


I await your immediate response and action.


Yes. I am SERIOUS.


F-ING SERIOUS

That is all.
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Recycled post
 
I was struck, while thinking about the georgia game by just how played out and hackneyed all their gameday "traditions" are. It's been the same old öööö for years. Some trumpet player playing the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" (just like half the other SEC schools, and the Yankee army in the Civil War...). The "Redcoat" (like the bad guys in the Revolutionary War) marching band. Spelling "Georgia," for some reason - at least Clemson lives that gimmick throughout the whole game and not just in the pregame. The "Sanford stadium tradition" of singing the national anthem (yeah, nobody else does that). That stupid inbred dog that in no way factors into their gameday because it's too dumb and crippled to do anything but sit on the sideline and lick its nuts. Those almighty hedges that are a) a weed, and b) a dime a dozen in college football stadiums. Dead-ass Larry Munson droning on without a hint of irony about how unique and special "gameday in Athens" is. 90,000 sheep sitting in that wart of a stadium convinced that they are part of something unique and special, rather than something lame and just like everywhere else but worse, because they're a bunch of yokels who've never been outside the state.


TLDR: To Hell With Georgia
 
Dear Coach Johnson,
I read your playbook but your instructions were not clear and I got my dick stuck in a hot water heater. Despite what you may think, this actually is as bad as it seems. As this is clearly your fault, I have attached my medical bills.
Sincerely, architorture.
 
Architorture23 said:
Dear Coach Johnson,
I read your playbook but your instructions were not clear and I got my dick stuck in a hot water heater. Despite what you may think, this actually is as bad as it seems. As this is clearly your fault, I have attached my medical bills.
Sincerely, architorture.
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I told you to go öööö yourself, you douche nozzle, not öööö yourself with a douche nozzle. Learn to read. - CPJ
 
Dear Coach Johnson,

d8f15ef4e01b00e317914f183ab3e964


That is all.
 
Dear Coach Johnson,

If you were coaching a Turkish team, the fans would have beaten you up by now.

But we live in America so we bitch and bigcry about it on a message board.

Stop treating us like a bunch of armenians and win some big games for us.

THWG,

-Akinji
 
Akinji07 said:
Dear Coach Johnson,

If you were coaching a Turkish team, the fans would have beaten you up by now.

But we live in America so we bitch and bigcry about it on a message board.

Stop treating us like a bunch of armenians and win some big games for us.

THWG,

-Akinji
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Son,

Go get take that sports broad chick with her saggy fried egg titties to a nice greek restaurant. You people like that stuff.
Opa!
CPJ
 
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