Tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this post is going to be a rough ööööing ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this messageboard, we have been ööööING UP in terms of discussing football and general social interactions with each other. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so ööööing AWKWARD and so ööööing BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Diseqc, I've been having so much fun with my fellow STers this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to ööööing find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying öööö, and Vad Lee does not give a flying öööö, about how much you ööööing love to talk to your STers. You have 361 days out of the ööööing year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I ööööing repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the messageboard community, and that's not ööööing possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other about politics and news and not about spring game. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FOOTBALL PLAYERS DON'T LIKE BORING POSTERS. Oh wait, DOUBLE ööööING NEWSFLASH: VAD LEE IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE ööööING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE ööööING SUCK SO FAR.
This also applies to you little öööös that have talked openly about UGA football IN FRONT OF GT FOOTBALL PLAYERS. Are you people ööööing retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Vad Lee openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Aaron Murray over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE öööö WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be talking about UGA, I don't give a öööö if your boyfriend goes there, if your brother goes there, or if your entire family is alumni. YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT UGA FOOTBALL. YOU. DON'T. TALK. ABOUT. UGA. FOOTBALL. And you ESPECIALLY do ööööing NOT convince other poster to talk about it with you.
"But Diseqc!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this post, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID ööööING ASS HATS, IT ööööING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW ööööING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN ööööING UP ON OTHER THRADS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being ööööing WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid öööös and saying stuff like "where's the 110V come from?" is not ööööing funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. ööööing. Team. ARE YOU ööööING STUPID?!! I don't give a öööö about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR ööööööö TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU ööööING BLIND? Or are you just so ööööing dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the StingTalk community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE ööööING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR ööööING MATCHUP. I will ööööing öööö punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a öööö if you bigcry me, I WILL ööööING ASSAULT YOU.
"Ohhh, I'm now crying because your post has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird öööö that does weird öööö during the day, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S SPRING GAME.
I'm not ööööing kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS MESSAGEBOARD. I would rather have 40 posters that are fun, talk to each other, and not ööööing awkward than 80 that are ööööing ööögots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk about football I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't ööööing show up unless you're going to stop being a ööööööö cock block for our board. Seriously. I swear to ööööing God if I see anyone being a ööööööö boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a öööö. Go öööö yourself.
-Diseqc